Banfilm Movie Review

Welcome to Banfilm.com
[Read More!]

Thumbs up.  If I said more I'd just ruin it, then you'd have to come down to Orlando, find my apartment, say "delivery for MrTorrance", then wait for me to answer, then punch me in the balls for being the dick who ruined X-Men for you.  So, thumbs up.

My whata?  I finally figured out my space and why people are so addicted to it.  If you want to see my pathetic page go to:

www.myspace.com/mrtorrance

       I have never seen anything like this in my life.  I feel so sorry for all the people effected and hope that the psycho's looting and shooting at rescue aid personel find themselves in the deepest depths of Hell.  Here is a link to WWLTV and thier live news feed.  Please donate to the RED CROSS RELIEF.

-Good Luck

       This weekend was one for the books. I spent my Friday night puking my brains out and sleeping on the bathroom floor. I wish I could say it was due to some over active drinking or something stupid like that, but in fact I caught my son's stomach flu. I can't remember the last time I felt so cruddy. I've been slowly working my way up to solid foods; today I enjoyed some canned tuna and left over potato soup. Maybe tomorrow I'll eat something wild, like a ham sandwich.
        To add insult to injury, I also got into a rather painful and utterly embarrassing bicycle wreck on Friday too. It had just rained after my IMA final at school and the road was a bit slippery, at least that's what I'm telling people. About 5 feet from the bike rack I slipped off the street curb and planted my hip and elbow square into the pavement.  I've been groaning and limping ever since...ask my wife.

A Poem for the weary:
[Read More!]

What is this sleep you speak of?

       Welcome to a new world! My crazy wife slept on the couch last night, and I've never slept better. Maybe there's something to the whole separate bed thing that I've been missing out on. Maybe the censors of the early entertainment era weren't trying to hide sex but actually were promoting a method to reduced anxiety and increased sleep time. I mean really how difficult would it be to have two separate twin beds? When you feel the need to get the deed on you could simply push them together and have at.

[Read More!]

A list of some of my favorite murders throughout cinematic history.  If you have a favorite, let me know and we'll see if it makes the cut.

[Read More!]

(Jitsuroku Andō Noboru kyōdō-den: Rekka) A bazooka for you troubles?        Takashi Miike brings us Deadly Outlaw: Rekka (aka Violent Fire) starring Riki Takeuchi.  It's your typical Yakuza plot, "Mob boss gets wacked, gang seeks revenge."  This time Miike has given us a little more to chew on though.  Takeuchi is Kunisada, the son of the Yakuza leader, and after his father's violent demise promises to get revenge.  Kunisada acts out in anger killing some members of a rival gang with a...      Read on =>

Why won't you go to the moon?         Staring in one of my favorite rolls is Stacy Keach in The Ninth Configuration. William Peter Blatty (Exorcist) directs this fantastically dry film. The center of the film is on Keach's character Col. Kane and his struggle to find sanity in a castle converted into a mental institution. This secluded sanctuary houses men struggling with inner turmoil caused by their tours in the Vietnam War. Kane heads the hospital and begins to interview and analy...      Read on =>

They killed my sweet Goldie.         Sin City is the most violent, visually erect film of the year.  If the long list of actors and actresses featured in this film weren't hot before they are now.  Some of the big players include; Bruce Willis, Jessica Alba, Benicio Del Turo, Jamie King, Brittany Murphy, Elijah Wood, Rutger Hauer, my man Mickey Rourke, and as the deadly Miho is Devon Aoki.  Sin City is based off of the graphic novels written by Frank Miller.         I dare say this...      Read on =>

Do you drive a car?         I ♥ Huckabees stars Jason Schwartzman, Jude Law, Mark Walberg, Naomi Watts, Isabelle Huppert, and as the Existential Detectives are Dustin Hoffman and Lily Tomlin. Albert Markovski (Schwartzman) is a confused member of the Open Spaces organization who can't seem to shake the meaning of life when he happens upon a large African man three times in the course of his daily life. As fate may have it, he finds a card for the Existential Detectives in...      Read on =>

If only I hadn't killed that hooker.         Scary Movie 3 is a hilarious addition to this ever improving series.  Starring Charlie Sheen, Anna Garis, Eddie Griffin, Queen Latifah, Regina Hall, and cameos from big breasted gal pals Jenny McCarthy and Pamela Anderson.  To get all the jokes I would recommend watching Signs, The Ring, and Eminem's stupid ass flick, 8 mile.         Scary Movie 3 was without a doubt the funniest movie Pamela Anderson has ever been in, well not counting B...      Read on =>

Peter Stormare as Satan?         Constantine is a supernatural thriller based on the DC comic book Hellblazer. It stars Keanu Reeves, Rachel Weisz, Shia LaBeouf, Pruitt Taylor Vince, and playing Gabriel is Tilda Swinton. Constantine is a story of a condemned man's quest to redeem himself by destroying the evil half breed demons that inhabit the Earth.        I've read a lot of reviews on Constantine and am happy to say I ignored every one of them and saw the film anyway. Keanu ...      Read on =>

Hairy means scary?      The Grudge stars Sarah Michelle Gellar as Karen. A grizzly murder from years before haunts the home that Karen must work in. Scary stuff happens and people die. Not the most complicated plot, but most ghost stories are pretty simple.      This movie contained all the key elements of your typical haunting; Murder, Ghosts and Being Scared. Personally I don't care for films like this. I prefer something a little more complex. A Nightmare on Elm St is about griz...      Read on =>

Your baby has special needs.      I LOVE THE INCREDIBLES!! I went to the movies with my wife and son this weekend and had the opportunity to see The Incredibles. What an awesome film it was. Directed by Brad Bird, The Incredibles stars; Craig T.Nelson, Holly Hunter, Samuel L. Jackson, Jason Lee, Dominique Louis, Spencer Fox, and Sarah Vowell. The plot is simple and hilarious. Mr. Incredible gets sued after rescuing a man from an attempted suicide sparking a large number of lawsuits ...      Read on =>

Son, you got a panty on your head.      Nicolas Cage stars as H.I. McDunnough in Raising Arizona. H.I. is a poor excuse of an armed robber, who can't seem to stay away from the local police. One day during one of his many lockups he meets police officer Ed (Holly Hunter), short for Edwina, during a line up. After some quick courtship he asks for her hand in marriage. The two love birds seem to have the perfect life. H.I. has a steady job at a machine factory, Ed is a decorated office...      Read on =>

mmmm....      Eddie Murphy and Owen Wilson team up in I-Spy. Wilson plays Alex Scott, an underappreciated secret agent. He finds himself on a mission partnered with a cocky boxer named Kelly Robinson (Murphy). Also appearing are Famke Janssen, Malcolm McDowell, and Gary Cole as Carlos...the super spy.      I thought I Spy was a pretty funny movie. The humor is a little light, I found myself laughing, but I never split a gut. Eddie Murphy plays his typical comedic role and doesn’t di...      Read on =>